Expectation: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case.
Yet what if you’re someone that wants to live a life without too many expectations?
I want loads and yet I don’t want much.
A friend said to me last week that as long as she has a coffee each day while travelling her expectations for that day have been met.
Admirable, you betcha?
So this is the difficult place that I sit in between.
I will always step back and then out before it all becomes too big, too loud, too public, too much.
And yet is that selling myself short?
Opportunities pass by me and often I let them keep walking.
This year I’ve had chances to push myself further.
Opportunities to write, to publish photos, to speak about our journey, to meet people and yet when the crunch comes – often I retreat and let it go rather than push.
I retreat because I choose to keep things relatively calm. My choice. Sometimes I try things out for size but I know I can’t do it all.
Opportunities are never lost forever, often it’s all about timing. It it’s meant to be – all the paths and whispers will lead me back.
I don’t have fear because I do put myself out there, absolutely I do that.
I’m not always ready for every new opportunity and that’s ok. We don’t have to step into fear all the time (contrary to the memes) – especially when it doesn’t fit who we are.
This, this posting here is putting myself out there. It’s my apprenticeship, I’m practicing. Learning. Growing. Adjusting the pace and tempo as required. I’m on this ride and that feels like enough.
Last week a friend stayed here. I’m calling her one of my best. I met her in this space.
I had lunch in London yesterday with 3 amazing women who I met through IG (yes that is London Bridge).
I wish I could walk and talk with them regularly. Telling stories and laughing is good for the soul.
I walked my niece to school, it’s my favourite thing to do in London.
Just before I left for London town I received a package in the mail. It made my heart feel like the time you notice the first Spring Blossom.
You know that feeling right? You want to take the deepest and most contented breath, it’s that special. (It’s the feeling I try to photograph).
Imagine someone taking the time to paint not one but three pictures for you and to also write you a personal card. Let me whisper something ‘Kindness exchange‘.
All of those meetings and connections came from putting myself out there and again I’m reminded that I write and share to create a meaningful life, to meet interesting people. However that looks with its constant changes.
I’ve changed (again) since I travelled and I’m trying to make sense of that and find a new fit.
I put this account on private for a week and then I realised that that’s silly. This is where I can write what is real. What I feel.
That is actually what I expect in my days.
Expectations can be simple and they can be hard, we control them.
Maybe the time will come to push myself into a louder life but for now I’m happy here in the shadows expecting only what feels right.
P.S. Quietly I’m working away at my commitment to One Girl. I started this page www.slowerfamilytravels.com I’m not sure where this will go or how I’ll grow it but this is where I’m trying to find a voice and make a difference. It’s where I feel comfortable trying to right a wrong. Should I incorporate it here? Or grow it separately? I have big expectations and I also have none. Maybe none makes it easier to do it my own way, a way that is sustainable and long lasting.
Thanks for sticking around. x x