Expectations…

Expectation: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case.

Yet what if you’re someone that wants to live a life without too many expectations?

That’s me.

I want loads and yet I don’t want much.

A friend said to me last week that as long as she has a coffee each day while travelling her expectations for that day have been met.

Simple right?

Admirable, you betcha?

So this is the difficult place that I sit in between.

I will always step back and then out before it all becomes too big, too loud, too public, too much.

And yet is that selling myself short?

I wonder?

Opportunities pass by me and often I let them keep walking.

This year I’ve had chances to push myself further.

Opportunities to write, to publish photos, to speak about our journey, to meet people and yet when the crunch comes – often I retreat and let it go rather than push.

I retreat because I choose to keep things relatively calm. My choice. Sometimes I try things out for size but I know I can’t do it all. 

Opportunities are never lost forever, often it’s all about timing. It it’s meant to be – all the paths and whispers will lead me back.

I don’t have fear because I do put myself out there, absolutely I do that.

I’m not always ready for every new opportunity and that’s ok. We don’t have to step into fear all the time (contrary to the memes) – especially when it doesn’t fit who we are.

This, this posting here is putting myself out there. It’s my apprenticeship, I’m practicing. Learning. Growing. Adjusting the pace and tempo as required. I’m on this ride and that feels like enough.

Last week a friend stayed here. I’m calling her one of my best. I met her in this space.

I had lunch in London yesterday with 3 amazing women who I met through IG (yes that is London Bridge).

I wish I could walk and talk with them regularly. Telling stories and laughing is good for the soul.

I walked my niece to school, it’s my favourite thing to do in London.

Just before I left for London town I received a package in the mail. It made my heart feel like the time you notice the first Spring Blossom.

You know that feeling right? You want to take the deepest and most contented breath, it’s that special. (It’s the feeling I try to photograph).

Imagine someone taking the time to paint not one but three pictures for you and to also write you a personal card. Let me  whisper something ‘Kindness exchange‘.

All of those meetings and connections came from putting myself out there and again I’m reminded that I write and share to create a meaningful life, to meet interesting people. However that looks with its constant changes.

I’ve changed (again) since I travelled and I’m trying to make sense of that and find a new fit.

I put this account on private for a week and then I realised that that’s silly. This is where I can write what is real. What I feel.

That is actually what I expect in my days.

Real feeling.

Real meaning.

Real connections.

Expectations can be simple and they can be hard, we control them.

Maybe the time will come to push myself into a louder life but for now I’m happy here in the shadows expecting only what feels right.

 

P.S. Quietly I’m working away at my commitment to One Girl. I started this page www.slowerfamilytravels.com I’m not sure where this will go or how I’ll grow it but this is where I’m trying to find a voice and make a difference. It’s where I feel comfortable trying to right a wrong. Should I incorporate it here? Or grow it separately? I have big expectations and I also have none. Maybe none makes it easier to do it my own way, a way that is sustainable and long lasting.

Thanks for sticking around. x x 

 

 

 

 

11 thoughts on “Expectations…

  1. Thanks for opening this space back up and sharing your thoughts.
    This post really resonated with me. I often wonder/worry that I don’t step into fear enough, that I don’t push myself outside my comfort space enough, that I let opportunities pass me by, but if I sit with it and be truly honest with myself I don’t actually want to take those opportunities up. Experiences within my family have pushed me and continue to push me well outside my comfort zone, I don’t have the capacity to choose to step outside of it right now. I just want to sit back here in the shadows and regroup, be kind to myself and build my energy back up for the next time I’m pushed out. All this allows my inner mean girl to really show her face, to beat me up, to compare me to others who are braver, louder, more in there. I have just finished my morning meditation and it seems it was about compassion for myself and others today. Yesterday I witnessed a very moving moment of compassion between two people while I was at the library. The scene has been on my mind since, it really highlighted to me how much nicer it is to be compassionate and show some simple kindness to another.
    I love the only expectation being a coffee, sounds like a great plan to me, because everyday would be awesome.
    The world needs strivers, movers, shakers, doers and go getters but it also needs watchers, dreamers, coasters and contentment with what is people.
    Anyway enough about me this isn’t my blog. 😁
    Cheers Kate

    Like

  2. Arrggh just wrote a long comment and it’s disappeared. Maybe I wasn’t meant to share all those thoughts.
    Anyway glad you have opened this space up again.
    Cheers Kate

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I remember these feelings Fran! One of the good things that comes with age (for me anyway) is, wise choices. Which in turn lead to peace and self acceptance; I can give from that place.
    You could combine your two blogs? Everything you write is thought provoking and worth reading!

    Oh I would have loved to ‘latte in London’ with you!
    Janet xx

    Like

    • Yes! That is exactly it Janet. Finding the place you can give from, that’s a really great thought. I too can only give (truly give) from the place of peace and self acceptance. I am going to ponder this a little more though.

      Thanks for your encouragement! I’ll think about how I tackle the blog(s). I really just want to write about some funny things that are culturally different here one of these days but I keep getting caught in the thoughts and feelings. I think I had a realisation this week and a release (of some expectations). So maybe next week.

      Latte? If we were in London together we’d have a whole day of wondering and eating.

      F xx

      P.s. I read another book that ended with the moon rising. Sweet Bean Paste have a look in your library.

      Like

  4. Fran, I feel very much the same way about expectations and the almost ceaseless mantra of pushing ourselves. I don’t want to feel that big is the only option. Small is an option. Quietly is an option. Slowly is an option. I could push my blog along, push myself to be x, y or z “further” down the track. But what even is the track? Where does it lead? Why is it seen as essential to be on it? I’m more interested in those questions.

    Thank you for being here. Being yourself. Looking for the right kind of self-expression for who and where you are in your life.

    I expect nothing less my new friend ; )

    Annette x

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    • My comment was along these lines. It takes all kinds, we don’t all need to be out there, loud, pushing all the time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • So true Kate, it’s wonderful to move into a space where we can embrace who we are even if it looks different. I think there enough space online for quiet thoughts too.

        Like

    • I like this very much and I love that we can have these conversations that feed our thinking. As soon as I step away from small, quiet and slow it feels out of whack. I get bothered by the niggles. Then as soon as I pull back it feels calmer and more like me (home). I know the difference between stepping into fear and stepping further into those niggles. Sometimes the niggles need to be sat it as they are telling me something I need to know but often they’re just saying ‘woah – pull back’ something is not right.

      Then I pull back write a quick post about what’s been on my mind the past week and look what happens overnight while I’m asleep – it resonates. Your lovely email is really everything. Honest connection will always lead to a more contented and peaceful life and it shows me that is exactly the track I want to be on. Track C. Where does it lead? I think that is the absolute gift of not having expectations. Then we are open to all the mystery and wonder. Of course there are bumps but all tracks have bumps but isn’t it so much sweeter to be looking.

      And I am all for new friends along the road, it’s a good sign we’re open.

      f xx

      Like

  5. Hi Fran,

    I like your comment: I retreat because I choose to keep things relatively calm.

    I find that whenever I have increased expectations, I lose the calm, the peace. Sometimes that is what is right, but more often than not, its not. Lowering my expectations doesn’t mean I do less, it just means that I am more able to go with the flow. In my mind, I know my direction, I just am not forcing it, nor feeling cheated by time/space/life.

    Being true to yourself, letting new ideas float around, seeing where they land. Been working on that lately too.

    xx Lisa

    Like

  6. Hey Lisa,

    Sometimes new ideas, new situations, new thoughts in general lead to a little bit of chaos. You’re right sometimes that is normal but it’s nice to pull it back into a more calm existence.

    I was working with a few new ideas but thankfully I found the space to let it all land for a bit. I know what pace I can go forward at and that’s not at 100 miles an hour. I don’t want to jeopardise the important things by focussing too much energy in the the wrong direction.

    So as always slowly I go and that is a very peaceful place to find myself.

    F x

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s