Some things slide…

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“Focus on moments, more than goals, plans or dreams. Certain moments in your life create in you strongly positive emotions—let’s call these “strong-moments. Not all moments are strong-moments—some moments spark negative emotions, while some don’t spark any emotions at all. But when you do experience a strong moment, it is authentic.” Markus Bingham

“These happy women… realised that balance was impossible (and therefore stressful) to achieve, but also rather boring. Instead, they “tilted” towards activities and commitments they liked and found meaningful.” Markus Bingham

I’ve had a few of these strong moments in the past few weeks as I tilt through my days. Those a-ha moments when you feel connected.  Sarah Wilson explains tilting as “…a positive flow forward…a moving ‘with’ life.”

I’ve always loved the idea of finding my flow and allowing myself to go with it. I share my life with my husband and 4 children. They are my world, but I’ve always known that I need to keep a little of myself for me. Allowing myself to tilt towards imbalance means I can nurture not just my family but also the things that make me tick, warm my soul and that keep me in my heart space.

The past few weeks my littlest one had a few weeks of sickness (first year of pre-school) so in I tilted. We spent our days at home and we snuggled on the couch, a lot. Full days at home gave me quiet space to write a little, declutter a bit, practise my sourdough baking and spending more time than usual in the kitchen. The children also tilted, they were dropped and picked up at the school gate, activities were missed and they were very accommodating of the little one’s preference for play school and lego city. My husband stepped in a little more too. There was a calm flow in what could have been a trying time had we not tilted.

The beauty of tilting is its fluidity. When the little guy was smiling again we went in search of fresh air and beauty behind the lens, outside we tilted.

I’m a big believer in synchronicity but to experience it I think you have to find your flow and give yourself the space to notice it.

The better I become at slowing and simplifying the more authentic life seems, more and more my day to day connections feel ‘right’ and my actions are based on intention.

It becomes easier to resist the negative flow that is lurking, always wanting to pull us in. I’m not buying the I’m busy or the conversations that choose negativity. I have things to do, lots, we all do, but I feel present not rushed and I think that’s because I tilt.

 

 

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I don’t always take photos of people but this week I noticed that people often tell a story in an image, maybe one day I will be brave enough to ask a stranger if I can take their photo. (I’m actually quite shy.)

Some sand between his fingers was all he needed, more of that!

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Zooming in and capturing others in their heart space, always warms my soul.

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Finding new perspectives of the Opera House, a never ending quest, it’s really is quite something this building.

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A coastal hike in Sydney during the winter solstice. I love to be warm but I also think we need to feel cold air, especially in winter. 

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A Blue Wren stopped ever so briefly for me.

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My bread making is finding a schedule, the mixing usually starts at 5pm and the loaves are baked in the early morning.

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A beautiful lunch with my mum who was visiting at my favourite ‘profit for purpose’ cafe, Gratia in Surry Hills. This is the Gratia Garden Bowl, loved every single  flavorful bite.

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Darlinghurst, a memorial for Orlando, a gentle reminder to hold space, always. Holding space is a beautiful way to be, I want to think in this way in my day to day.

Yes, I surely took my time this past week to tilt towards time outside, time behind the lens, anonymously surrounding myself with people and life. That’s what I needed, I’m sure what you need will be different.

But I reckon we all need to let stuff slip, a few of the things I let slip:

  • Easy meals like san choy bow, slow cooks with couscous or one-pan roasted veggies with fish on top.
  • On nights where there is no energy, an omelette was perfectly fine.
  • I was brushing my kid’s hair as they got out of the car and headed into school…on the days I actually brushed their hair.
  • A few loads of washing but nothing folded, just a huge pile.
  • A training session that I needed to attend at the hospital was re-scheduled.
  • Breakfast was eaten in the car on more than one day.
  • Swimming lessons were missed, and no homework (homework is optional here).
  • There was a change from pj’s to clothes in the coffee shop, the little guy not me.
  • Showers, well they were taken whenever! And the kids may have missed a few baths.
  • No formal exercise classes, I wandered and hiked instead.
  • Just one look over my garden, lucky it’s winter, slow growing.
  • No weekend shifts at the hospital.
  • Actually, this is a small list but you get the gist.

There is no way I could live a calm, creative life if I was to live with overwhelm. It’s simpler to tilt and accept imbalance than try and do it all. Sometimes lists and routines help but sometimes they inhibit the very freedom you need to be creative and the space you need to tilt.

This week, I’m tilting differently, the house is back to zero (for 5 minutes), less stuff does actually make a huge difference here. I’m making an effort to be in the school ground for drop off and pick up. Cakes need to be baked for the school fete, and bread, always bread these days. I want to write rather than take photos because last week I reflected and I need to capture those thoughts.

Do you tilt? Where are you tilting this week?

I love this article by Sarah Wilson on tilting and this one by Brooke McAlary at Slow you home. Also here about fitting creativity in with kids by Brydie Piaf whose photos and words I love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Some things slide…

  1. I like the term tilting and I definitely agree sometimes you just have to learn towards what is needed. If you don’t (and I frequently don’t realise what I should be doing instead…cue battle music.) This week is a calmer one, as last week was rubbish. A lead up to school holidays, less frenzied chaos hopefully and more spontaneity. Lots of cold sea air walks, pup hugs and mugs of tea drunk while still hot. My goals aren’t particularly high, which makes anything above that, a beautiful bonus.

    (As for gaining the courage to ask a stranger for a picture…it’s hard, really hard, but so worth it. Look ACP’s photography courses.)

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    • Hey there cityhippyfarmgirl,

      Chaos is challenging and sometimes it just has to run its course. We are not without it, but tilting and dropping things sure helps keep chaos a little calmer. Do love that at least you drink hot mugs of tea..it’s been the first time since 2004 that I’ve had a bit of time to myself so I am drinking a few these days.

      Thank you! I love ACP, I need to enrol in a course. Actually, a photography course was next after my gardening and fermenting courses (I’m exploring a few things this year). I’m still a point and click photo taker, have the desire, see loads of beautiful things, invested in the camera but don’t know my ISO’s from my shutter speed.

      Fran x

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  2. Hi Fran,

    I hope everyone is feeling better in your family! The more I hear about tilting, the more I appreciate it. In the not too distant past, I would get frustrated by things happening that took away from the “plan”. Now I am getting better at tilting into whatever is happening, knowing that I’ll be able to tilt back into other things later. This helps me enjoy the moment more and just go with the flow. My stress is usually based on time, so learning to roll with whatever is happening helps keep me more calm. Thanks for your post 🙂

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    • Howdy Lisa!

      Yes, we are all better and with a two week break all is good! Thank you for checking in.

      It’s really a nice concept, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s good to have a way to gently remind yourself that it’s all ok and each day, week even moment can look different. Flow is a good space to be in I reckon, a nice part of the slow living journey.

      Fran x

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